Book 20: "Marry Him: The Case for Settling For Mr. Good Enough" by Lori Gottlieb
My rating: *****
I started with a different book this week, but then I got a call from the library that some books I had on hold were in at the library (this being one of them). So I started it Thursday night thinking I'd read it on the side with my other one, but I got so into this that I finished it in a day and a half. This is what I learned:
Hi, I’m Amanda. I’m 24, single, like long walks on the beach and am a proponent of world peace. I’m looking for a man who is tall, dark, handsome, never has bad days, always dotes on me, sees past my flaws and accepts me for who I am, spends all of his free time with me, connects with me on a deep emotional level, and likes all the same things I do.
Honestly, it made me want to vomit writing that, but Lori Gottlieb’s point is that this is often the exact mindset of single women when it comes to what they’re looking for in a husband (even though they may not vocalize it). Pretty ridiculous, eh? I agree.
I had heard of this book from a married friend of mine who read it and loved it. Being a single woman I, of course, had to read it. And really I was nothing short of amazed. While I didn’t see myself in all of the descriptions she gave of single women, I could see myself bordering dangerously on being irrational when it comes to what I should be looking for in a husband vs. what I want in a husband. I think as a society (even in Christian circles) our view of romantic relationships is more influenced by Hollywood than what we’d like to realize.
I’m going to approach this from the Christian viewpoint because, well…that’s what I am so it would make sense. As a single woman in the post-collegiate world I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard the age-old adage, “Love will find you when you stop looking.” Or something along those lines. That’s a piece of advice that I take with a grain of salt because, although I know those people mean well, it’s pretty ludicrous advice (especially when the advice typically comes from a married person anyways). Because really, what single person who wants to be married is ever going to stop looking? You’d be hard-pressed to find one. And this whole idea that love will find you when you stop looking or least except it might sound nice and spiritual, but it’s exactly the idea of pretty much every single romantic comedy Hollywood spits out. So while it may sound nice, it’s rather impractical and unrealistic.
What I learned from this book is to be realistic in my approach to finding a mate rather than being idealistic. Most women have a “type” of man they imagine they’ll end up with – the outrageously good looking, well built, blonde hair, blue eyes type. But are those the things that really make a good husband? Not in a million years. I have to discern between the things I need in a husband vs. the things I want. The things I need are consequently not the superficial attributes that women so often judge a man by (isn’t athletic enough, doesn’t look like Brad Pitt, has a receding hairline, too hairy, is too much of a morning person, etc.). They are, rather, the very same internal qualities that I desire him to value me by. So if I want a man who values me for my internal qualities why should I discount him for superficial qualities I might not initially find “attractive?”
More than anything I want to get married and have a family (not read as a desperate plea – just the reality of my life). But I can’t hold so tightly to a rigid checklist of what “The One” is supposed to be like otherwise I’ll pass up the man who is good enough while in pursuit of the elusive Prince Charming who doesn’t exist.
Saturday, May 22, 2010
Friday, May 14, 2010
Book 19: The Doctor's Wife by Elizabeth Brundage
My rating: *
This book began much better than it ended. From the first few pages I was hooked because it sounded like it was going to be a really good thriller with some kind of amazing plot.
How wrong I was. How very wrong.
The 4 main characters - Michael and Annie Knowles and Simon and Lydia Haas - are all, for the most part, cardboard and unlikable. I never felt as if I should be rooting for any of these characters. Michael is an OB/GYN who moonlights at a local abortion clinic. (Thi...more This book began much better than it ended. From the first few pages I was hooked because it sounded like it was going to be a really good thriller with some kind of amazing plot.
How wrong I was. How very wrong.
The 4 main characters - Michael and Annie Knowles and Simon and Lydia Haas - are all, for the most part, cardboard and unlikable. I never felt as if I should be rooting for any of these characters. Michael is an OB/GYN who moonlights at a local abortion clinic. (This never made sense to me. Why in the world would an OB doctor also perform abortions? That just seemed very conflicting to me.) His wife, Annie, is an alleged "feminist" and a journalism professor at a women's college. Simon is a sleazy, emo painter who also teachers at the women's college. And Lydia is the much younger wife of Simon the painter who's mentally a few fries short of a Happy Meal and a right-wing, conservative nut.
Annie is the typical not-happily-married-but-appears-happily-married-until-sleazy-man-hits-on-her-and-makes-her-feel-alive-again wife. Michael is a workaholic, and she rarely sees him and neither do their kids. So it only makes sense that she would have a secret love affair with Simon because he's an honorable man, and he brings out the best in her. After all, he KNOWS her. But only in the sense that he's explored every inch of her body in the confines of a drab motel room. I also had a hard time buying into this relationship because if Annie was such a hardcore feminist, it seemed to me that she wouldn't give herself to some man to be used for his animalistic fantasies. I thought feminists had more dignity than that.
Another glaring absurdity in this book was the stereotypical ways the author portrayed those who are of the pro-life persuasion. Because we all know that everyone who is opposed to abortion is a radical freak who leaves bloody dolls in mailboxes, leaves bombs in abortion clinics, and claims they're doing it all in the name of Jesus. Sure there are some people out there like that, but let's not use the same brush to paint everyone.
This was one of those books that I honestly didn't really want to finish. Maybe I shouldn't have, but once I start a book I finish it. That's just what I do. This book was just very 2-dimensional and too full of the author's agenda. Oh, and the ending was lame.
My rating: *
This book began much better than it ended. From the first few pages I was hooked because it sounded like it was going to be a really good thriller with some kind of amazing plot.
How wrong I was. How very wrong.
The 4 main characters - Michael and Annie Knowles and Simon and Lydia Haas - are all, for the most part, cardboard and unlikable. I never felt as if I should be rooting for any of these characters. Michael is an OB/GYN who moonlights at a local abortion clinic. (Thi...more This book began much better than it ended. From the first few pages I was hooked because it sounded like it was going to be a really good thriller with some kind of amazing plot.
How wrong I was. How very wrong.
The 4 main characters - Michael and Annie Knowles and Simon and Lydia Haas - are all, for the most part, cardboard and unlikable. I never felt as if I should be rooting for any of these characters. Michael is an OB/GYN who moonlights at a local abortion clinic. (This never made sense to me. Why in the world would an OB doctor also perform abortions? That just seemed very conflicting to me.) His wife, Annie, is an alleged "feminist" and a journalism professor at a women's college. Simon is a sleazy, emo painter who also teachers at the women's college. And Lydia is the much younger wife of Simon the painter who's mentally a few fries short of a Happy Meal and a right-wing, conservative nut.
Annie is the typical not-happily-married-but-appears-happily-married-until-sleazy-man-hits-on-her-and-makes-her-feel-alive-again wife. Michael is a workaholic, and she rarely sees him and neither do their kids. So it only makes sense that she would have a secret love affair with Simon because he's an honorable man, and he brings out the best in her. After all, he KNOWS her. But only in the sense that he's explored every inch of her body in the confines of a drab motel room. I also had a hard time buying into this relationship because if Annie was such a hardcore feminist, it seemed to me that she wouldn't give herself to some man to be used for his animalistic fantasies. I thought feminists had more dignity than that.
Another glaring absurdity in this book was the stereotypical ways the author portrayed those who are of the pro-life persuasion. Because we all know that everyone who is opposed to abortion is a radical freak who leaves bloody dolls in mailboxes, leaves bombs in abortion clinics, and claims they're doing it all in the name of Jesus. Sure there are some people out there like that, but let's not use the same brush to paint everyone.
This was one of those books that I honestly didn't really want to finish. Maybe I shouldn't have, but once I start a book I finish it. That's just what I do. This book was just very 2-dimensional and too full of the author's agenda. Oh, and the ending was lame.
"But that's the price we have to pay for stability"
Book 18: Brave New World by Aldous Huxley
My rating: **** 1/2
AWESOME book!! Different than 1984 yet similar in some ways.
My rating: **** 1/2
AWESOME book!! Different than 1984 yet similar in some ways.
Sunday, May 2, 2010
How can it be that the Eternal One is contained in a form that we can see with our eyes and hold in our arms?
Book 17: Sixth Covenant (A.D. Chronicles #6) by Brock and Bodie Thoene
My rating: ****1/2
After just finishing this book, I feel...sad. My heart aches for these fictional people. Call me crazy. Maybe it's mostly because, while this is a fictionalized retelling, these things ACTUALLY happened. Maybe not exactly this way, but they happened nonetheless.
Kings Herod in his old age became more and more troubled by dreams and visions that some coming king was going to usurp his throne. He had a reason to be afraid - he wasn't the rightful one to sit in his throne. He wasn't a Jew, but he proclaimed himself the king of the Jews. Rumors were spreading to Jerusalem that a baby had been born who was the true King. A visit from a group of astrologers who sought to worship this same baby only confirmed Herod's nightmares. The joy of the people of Bethlehem over the birth of the Messiah was trampled by Herod's murderous paranoia.
The Gospel of Matthew records Herod's order that all baby boys under the age of 2 were to be slaughtered. That's something I've read a number of times but never really thought about. Until now. Reading this scene was horrible. I can't imagine how it's possible for someone to be that heartless - heartless enough to kill innocent children. All because he was afraid one of those boys was going to grow up and take his throne. If I could go back in time and punch Herod in the face I would. I can't imagine what it would've been like as a mother. To be minding your own business when Roman soldiers come barging into your house and slaughter your kids before your eyes. To have your children ripped from your arms and watch the life leave their eyes. It's hard to not wonder why in the world God would let something like that happen. But then again maybe it's foreshadowing of what was to come. Of what God Himself would have to suffer as His Son suffered and died for the sins of the world.
My rating: ****1/2
After just finishing this book, I feel...sad. My heart aches for these fictional people. Call me crazy. Maybe it's mostly because, while this is a fictionalized retelling, these things ACTUALLY happened. Maybe not exactly this way, but they happened nonetheless.
Kings Herod in his old age became more and more troubled by dreams and visions that some coming king was going to usurp his throne. He had a reason to be afraid - he wasn't the rightful one to sit in his throne. He wasn't a Jew, but he proclaimed himself the king of the Jews. Rumors were spreading to Jerusalem that a baby had been born who was the true King. A visit from a group of astrologers who sought to worship this same baby only confirmed Herod's nightmares. The joy of the people of Bethlehem over the birth of the Messiah was trampled by Herod's murderous paranoia.
The Gospel of Matthew records Herod's order that all baby boys under the age of 2 were to be slaughtered. That's something I've read a number of times but never really thought about. Until now. Reading this scene was horrible. I can't imagine how it's possible for someone to be that heartless - heartless enough to kill innocent children. All because he was afraid one of those boys was going to grow up and take his throne. If I could go back in time and punch Herod in the face I would. I can't imagine what it would've been like as a mother. To be minding your own business when Roman soldiers come barging into your house and slaughter your kids before your eyes. To have your children ripped from your arms and watch the life leave their eyes. It's hard to not wonder why in the world God would let something like that happen. But then again maybe it's foreshadowing of what was to come. Of what God Himself would have to suffer as His Son suffered and died for the sins of the world.
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